The world’s sex-positive spaces are still mostly for or dominated by cis men. Either gay or bi cis men, who have their saunas, sex clubs and cruising grounds in many parts of the world. Or by straight cis men who, even in mixed spaces, even when they’re in relationships with sexually adventurous women, tend to take things over.
But there are an increasing number of venues that make an effort to be welcoming to lesbian and bi women, trans and nonbinary people, and all the combinations thereof.
These pansexual sex spots usually have two strategies for making more marginal groups feel safe. The first one allows everyone to commingle in the space, hoping that the business’s policies, as well as an atmosphere of respect, inclusion and explicit consent, make the space fun and safe for everyone.
This strategy usually includes branding the place as LGBTQ2S+-focused or -friendly, so that if, say, a straight cis man comes along with his bi cis female partner, he will, knowing the policies and the vibe, control any urge to impinge on a group of lesbians doing their thing.
The second strategy is themed events, managing attendance according to identity. FLINTA* (female, lesbian, intergender, nonbinary, trans and agender) events usually exclude cis men, while gay- or swinger-focused nights allow these groups to go respectfully wild.
But even when themed events predominate, these venues often host mixed events where attendees can either focus their interests, politely tuning out other people and their activities, or embrace a more open state of mind, accepting that what gets them going might change according to the circumstances.
